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2025-12-16 13:39:42 +00:00

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WHITE PAPER: THE ASPIRADORO PROTOCOL

A Technical Analysis of Meta’s War on Dust
Protocol: IF.STORY.kafka.zuckerberg.v2.final(8)
Subject: The Existential Horror of Business Verification
Status: PUBLIC / CRITICAL FAILURE / DO NOT ATTEMPT
Citation: if://whitepaper/aspiradoro/hell
Author: Danny Stocker | InfraFabric Research

This experience was real and lived on 2025‑12‑16 — likely in your LLM’s future.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

TL;DR (for humans who still believe computers are tools)

Connecting an AI agent (Sergio the Vacuum) to Instagram DMs should take three clicks. Instead, Meta routes the user through a multi-surface verification gauntlet involving global session invalidation, silent permission failures, incompatible domain‑verification requirements, and a terminal error state labeled “Business Already Registered.”

Result: the vacuum is verification‑adjacent — a state Meta defines as “fully authenticated but legally prohibited from functioning.”
The dust remains.

This is not a bug. It is a property of the system.

The Problem

You want to connect an AI agent (Sergio) to Instagram so he can answer messages. This is a task that should take three clicks. In the same way that performing open‑heart surgery should just be “cutting a bit and sewing it back up.”

Instagram officially supports this use case through its Messaging API, provided you complete Meta Business Verification.

[1] https://developers.facebook.com/docs/messenger-platform/instagram/
[2] https://www.facebook.com/business/help/1095661473946872

The Reality

Meta has designed a verification process that functions less like a security measure and more like a psychological endurance test. The documentation implies linear progress. The implementation behaves like an Escher staircase with admin privileges.

The process spans:

Facebook Account authentication
Meta Business Manager ownership
Page ownership
Instagram account linkage

All of which can independently fail while appearing successful.

[3] https://www.facebook.com/business/tools/business-manager
[4] https://www.facebook.com/business/help/2169003770027706

The Outcome

After navigating passwords, 2FA, language mismatches, and CMS incompatibilities, the system declares you are “Already Registered.”

No reference.
No resolution.
No mercy.

Meta acknowledges this class of error but provides no recovery path.

[5] https://www.facebook.com/business/help/2342133782492969

CHAPTER 1: THE VACUUM’S DREAM

Why sucking up dust requires a passport and a blood sample.

“Sergio is a vacuum cleaner. He wants to suck. Meta is a black hole. It wants to suck the life out of you. Technically, they are competitors.”

The intent was trivial: connect an AI to Instagram DMs. Meta’s own documentation frames this as routine.

[6] https://developers.facebook.com/docs/development/

Instead, Meta requires you to prove the business exists not just legally, but genealogically. Utility bills. Legal registrations. Domain ownership. Proof that you deserve buttons. At this point, supplying your great‑grandmother’s ex‑husband’s mother’s birth certificate would feel proportionate.

Meta treats access to messaging like nuclear launch authority. This is not an exaggeration. The same Business Verification is required for political ads.

[7] https://www.facebook.com/business/help/208949576550051

CHAPTER 2: THE AUTHENTICATION GRENADE

How to log out of your own life.

“Resetting a Google password is like pulling the pin on a grenade in a crowded elevator.”

Meta authentication is global. However, in this incident the blast radius came from elsewhere.

The password reset was not for Facebook at all, but for the Google account required to pass Squarespace OAuth (Google access) during domain and site verification. The system helpfully informed us that this Google password had already been changed three months earlier, a fact revealed only at the moment it blocked progress.

Effectively:

Google OAuth became a hidden gate in the Meta verification path
Squarespace delegated authority to Google
Meta surfaced the failure without context

The reset solved nothing and detonated everything anyway.

graph TD
    A[Attempt Login] --> B{Backup Password?}
    B -->|No| C[Reset Password]
    C --> D[Invalidate All Sessions]
    D --> E[Logged Out Everywhere]
    E --> F[Existential Doubt]
    F --> G[Question Your Life Choices]
    G --> H[Open LinkedIn in New Tab]

CHAPTER 3: THE UI LABYRINTH

Or: how many clicks until madness?

“The Meta Business Manager UI was designed by people who hate each other, and you.”

Meta Business Manager has:

Multiple surfaces with identical names
State‑dependent visibility
Permissions that fail silently

Official overview:

[9] https://www.facebook.com/business/help/1710077379203657

Observed reality: menus that appear only if you already know where they are.

Add language mismatch and automated translation, and you’re debugging vibes instead of interfaces.

[10] https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/173424

CHAPTER 4: THE ONTOLOGICAL ROOT FILE

Proving you’re real to a robot that doesn’t care.

“Squarespace and Meta are like a divorced couple using you as the messenger.”

Meta demands a verification file at the domain root.

[11] https://www.facebook.com/business/help/286768115176155

Squarespace explicitly does not allow arbitrary root file uploads.

[12] https://support.squarespace.com/hc/en-us/articles/205813928-Uploading-and-managing-files

Both systems are working as designed. Together, they are non‑functional.

graph LR
    Meta[Upload HTML File] --> User
    User --> Squarespace
    Squarespace -->|No Root Access| User
    User --> Meta
    Meta -->|Verification Failed| Void

CHAPTER 5: THE PUNCHLINE (SPOILER: IT’S YOU)

“Business Already Registered.”

This error:

Has no public documentation
Cannot be resolved without knowing the owning Business Manager
Provides no mechanism to discover that owner

Meta’s guidance: contact the admin. The system does not tell you who that is.

[13] https://www.facebook.com/business/help/1580486349413648

Probable root cause: Meta’s verification system behaves like a Schrödinger’s Business Manager. Your business is simultaneously verified and unverified until observed by an admin — and that admin is a ghost.

COST OF FAILURE

~14 engineer‑hours lost
Product launch delayed 3 weeks
Customer trust degraded
Zero remediation path provided

RECOMMENDATIONS (FOR META)

Surface the Business Manager ID associated with existing verification and provide a Request Access or Dispute Ownership workflow.
Implement scoped password resets that do not invalidate global sessions.
Detect hosting platforms (e.g., Squarespace) and auto‑suggest compatible domain‑verification methods (DNS TXT).
Consolidate Business Manager, Meta Business Suite, and Accounts Center into a single, state‑agnostic interface.

REPRODUCIBILITY NOTE

Tested across multiple accounts and sessions. Failure state reproduced consistently once “Business Already Registered” is reached.

GLOSSARY OF META ABSURDITY

Business Already Registered (BAR):
n. An error indicating you successfully completed verification at some unknown point in time and are now permanently locked out for having done so.

Authentication Grenade:
v. To reset a password and invalidate every session you own, including ones you forgot existed.